My working life has changed course a few times over the years. I was a proof reader, I worked in the book trade, I worked in Mental Health and am a Psychotherapist.
No, I’m not here to “shrink anyone’s brains” I thought I would share some aspects of being a therapist with you however. My type of therapy is Integrative – which is to say that I learned a number of disciplines which I use as a toolbox. I find this far more useful than being hamstrung by a single approach – as Abraham Maslow said “If we only have a hammer, we treat every problem as if it were a nail”.
Taking the philosophies behind the therapies into account produced a long term affect which I describe as being a therapist as opposed to doing therapy. Embodying therapy enables me to have the conviction that I am speaking from a viewpoint of familiarity, rather than advocating theoretical ideas. One of the disciplines is called Neuro Linguistic Programming, simply put, I examine the belief script that we grew up with in order to revise it, an effective reprogram performed jointly by therapist & client in open partnership.
I know this is effective because I use it effectively myself. For example, I recognise that many of the words we use are coded with failure & preprogram us to fail. Let’s examine the most common ones. I removed the word “try” from my vocabulary in most of its uses because we use the word diredtly to build in an ability to fail. When we offer to try to do something, we build in our later excuse and have not committed ourselves to a course of action. By removing the word, we find that we can no longer prevaricate. The answer to “will you?” can no longer be “I’ll try”, but commits us to “I will” or “I won’t”, or at very least “I will endeavour to do my best” The requirement to commit is obvious.
I also removed the word “worry”, as it seemed unneccessary and allowed my feelings to control me instead of me being in control of my feelings. You may find me expressing concern now, but will not ever see me worry. Thus I keep a clear head. Together with “worry” I removed the word “problem” Which seems so bound up with the worry word. If I deny myself problems, then I have circumstances or situations instead – either of which allows me a clearer head and a better grasp of solutions.
While we are in the territory I should also explain that I no longer live “Under the circumstances” simply because I refuse to allow my circumstances control over me. its far better to control my circumstances.
Try eradicating these words for a week – banish the words from your lips and the thoughts from your mind and see for yourselves the difference it can make. I will be fascinated to read your feedback after trying this, so I hope to hear from you in a week’s time with your observations in the comments section.